I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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