I wish my penis had an off switch
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
