I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
