its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish i was in the wii world.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
