we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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