it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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