the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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