Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
