Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
