She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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