so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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