Soap is not a condiment
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
