a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
