i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
