where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
