Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize