protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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