think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
