You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
