we have officially lost it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
