He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
