Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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