And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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