You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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