DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
