The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
