Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
