Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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