new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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