it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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