Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
