Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
