Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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