There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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