He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
