I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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