I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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