Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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