Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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