Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
