You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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