8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
