I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
