u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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