shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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