Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
