my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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