If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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