so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
