i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
