So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
