I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ladies don't puke and tell
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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