just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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