It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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