Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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