My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
