all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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