so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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