Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
