Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
