Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
