Where is the hickey?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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