I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
