I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
